Over the past four years, since I first stepped foot in the online world, I can honestly say that there’s a huge difference in how traditional business owners behave compared to online business owners.
It’s not pretty.
Not only do we all have to wade through massive piles of BS, but we also have to remember to stay true to ourselves and do the things that feel good to us, even if it goes against what all the ‘gurus’ are telling us.
(Let’s face it, if their advice actually worked we’d all be skinny millionaires working from the beach in Bali, or sipping champagne from our own chartered yacht.)
Being able to take things with a pinch of salt is probably one of the biggest character traits you can own, because some of the advice I see and hear on the internet is wild!
A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE
Let’s step back in time for a few minutes and roll back to the start of 2020 when it was announced that the entire world was being locked down due to the global pandemic.
I would say that this was the start of my ‘online business’ journey (it’s worth mentioning that prior to 2020, all of the businesses I’d worked with since 2013 were physical businesses that offered products and services that were delivered and experienced IRL)
We were all thrown into turmoil. We didn’t know what the immediate future would look like, all we knew was people working in an office could no longer work in the office, and those who dealt with the public were put on furlough unless deemed a key worker.
Many people had extra time on their hands and money in the bank. The best thing to do in those situations is to learn a new skill. Which many people did. Many people then went on to monetise the skill that they had learnt, to help other people while creating financial stability for themselves and their families.
So far, so good, right?
It was at this time when I had to make decisions about my own business. I had only ever worked with clients on Done-For-You PR and many of them were forced to down tools and put their PR on pause. There was no point paying for PR when they weren’t open for business. Plus, getting any kind of cut-through within the media world was non-existent. Unless a story was related to the pandemic there was no chance it would be published.
So, I also started looking at other ways that I could monetise my expertise and keep my business going. As you can probably guess, this took me down the online course route, which then took me down the route of connecting to my ‘ideal clients’ on social media and creating content that would get them to engage, with the aim of getting them on a call to invite them to join my programme.
As a result of this, many of my new connections were in the coaching space.
This is where I started noticing a trend….
…..the trend of ‘being disruptive’.
At the time ‘being disruptive’ felt very new and fresh. Being disruptive meant that you’d get more attention and become more visible, because you were going against what others in your industry were sharing.
Being disruptive felt like a badge of honour. You were the one standing out in a sea of sameness. You were attracting other people like you into your network and they thanked you for being a breath of fresh air.
BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN??
If you look at the Oxford Languages term for ‘disruptive’ it says:
Disruptive
Adjective
“Causing or tending to cause disruption”
Similar: troublemaking, troublesome, unruly, rowdy, disorderly, undisciplined
(of a company or form of technology) causing radical change in an existing industry or market through being innovative
Similar: innovative, inventive, ingenious, original, innovational
In this context, it seems that if an individual is disruptive they’re causing trouble, yet if a business or piece of technology is disruptive, it’s innovative and original
So, if a coach is posting disruptive content, are they the troublemaking type of disruptive or the innovative type of disruptive?
BACK TO THE FUTURE
Fast-forward to now (2024) there seems to be less emphasis on being disruptive, but there’s more emphasis on having a personal brand.
How do you stand out as a personal brand? By being authentic and engaging, which may also include being disruptive if you’re going against what others in your industry are saying and sharing.
So, being disruptive is still there, just in another guise.
Then of course there’s being disruptive to genuinely challenge the narrative and societal conditioning and speaking your truth in order to educate people…..and there’s being disruptive for the sake of gaining attention and saying things in order to evoke a reaction in others (also known as ‘being a dick’)
Click bait headlines are so rife now that if you’re not saying something that can be sensationalised, taken out of context or blown out of proportion then your content won’t get the views or engagement that you want it to (whatever channels and platforms you’re using)
DON’T LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY
We’ve all heard the saying ‘sex sells’, so the more dramatic and traumatic your posts can be, the more people will weigh-in on the comments section and either agree with you or argue with you.
If they agree with you, you run the risk of creating an echo chamber. If they disagree with you, this is your opportunity to fight for your opinions and prove why you’re right and they’re wrong (also referred to as ‘being a dick’)
Chances are you’ve experienced this online. (If you haven’t, I salute you!)
Usually, these ‘disruptors’ have built an audience of people who will happily fight people in the comments on their behalf. People who have drank the Kool-Aid and bouth into the philosophy that the person who shouts the loudest is the best.
(Interestingly I’ve just seen a TikTok video about people who are often promoted because they’re the loudest and most vocal person in the room, even if they’re not actually saying anything compelling. Their confidence is mistaken for competence. Watch it here)
I know of a coach who was unashamedly boasting about using this tactic way before they built the business they have today. They were overheard gloating about this strategy, saying that you can fool anyone into buying from you if you just shout loud enough for long enough.
This information has stuck with me ever since because it goes against my own values and integrity and I feel for those who fall for it.
The thing is, many, many ‘successful’ online business owners you see (and may look up to) are using this tactic. They don’t care about you or your business, they care about you spending your money with them and then using your success story as part of their marketing to attract even more people into the sales funnel.
I’ve fallen for this before. Often only realising once I’ve started working with them then it’s not something I’m aligned with (this has happened on more than one occasion, FYI)
“The pattern will repeat itself until it is broken” is the quote that finally made me realise that I was the only one with the power to stop repeating these patterns of behaviour.
IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT IS
You may have experienced something similar or you may still be on your journey of discovery.
Once you get there? It’s not pretty (holding the mirror up to yourself usually isn’t) You start to feel sick. You hate that you happily let yourself be duped by people that didn’t have your best interests at heart. You hate that you bought into their marketing message that touched a nerve and hit all the pain points that pinpointed all the problems you have, allowing them to position themselves as the solution and the answer to your prayers.
I’m now a lot more discerning with who I listen to. I also tune into the energy of the language they’re using and the way they’re communicating. If the focus leans towards scarcity and lack then they’re not for me. I’ve never really bought into pain point marketing, mainly because business owners don’t turn to PR because they’re in pain, they turn to PR to elevate what they’re already doing.
There are some incredible people out there who do say things that polarise people, which is a good thing. You want to attract the right people and repel the right people (AKA: The Wrong People), but you can be polarising while till being authentic. You can be polarising while also being kind. You can be polarising without being offensive, or picking a fight in the comments with people who don’t agree with you.
What people don’t realise is that this behaviour says a lot about them and it will have a negative impact on their reputation (which is your biggest asset btw)
When you’re on the up you might not give your reputation any thought, or you may not care that you’re negatively impacting it, but trust me when I say that you’ll start caring about it pretty damn quickly when you’re on your way down.
(What people say about you behind your back is way more powerful than what’s coming out of your mouth. A word of mouth referral is infinitely more lucrative than one of your social media posts.)
It’s why being featured in the press is seen as the holy grail of word of mouth marketing.
Except rather than one person referring you to one other person, you’ve got a publishing powerhouse recommending you to hundreds of thousands of people in their audience, people that are your HELL YES clients.
So, to go back to the title of this blog: are you being disruptive, or are you being a dick to get clicks in a bid to ‘be more visible’ (a term I also hate, for reasons you can read about here)
