This blog may ruffle some feathers, but if you know me, you’ll know that I’m not here to serve up the palatable version of self-development (or business growth) just because it’s what everyone else is doing.
I’m going to be honest about confidence, visibility and the slippery slope you’ll find yourself on when you try too hard to be like everyone else.
STOP WAITING FOR CONFIDENCE TO ARRIVE
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: You’re not going to “find” confidence one day and magically transform into a business superstar. If you’re waiting for that to happen before you take the leap, whether it’s posting online, introducing yourself at a networking event, or pitching to a journalist, you’re going to be waiting a long, long time.
Confidence is something you build by showing up and doing the thing, even when your stomach is in knots and your inner saboteur is screaming at you to play small.
If you listen to the recent “What is Public Relations?” podcast episode with Katie Bloomfield (if you haven’t, go listen now and add it to your playlist), you’ll hear us both say: The ugly truth about growth is ugly. It’s messy. It doesn’t look good on an inspirational quote, and it definitely doesn’t sell as well as a “10 Steps to Confidence” online course.
THE MYTH OF THE CONFIDENCE COACH
Let’s call it as it is. No one can “teach” you confidence any more than someone can teach you to love the taste of olives.
Yes, you can be supported and you can be challenged (essential, in fact), but no number of programs, group lives, or carefully crafted DMs will flick a switch and make you totally fearless.
Take it from Katie, who’s gone from being a single mum on a council estate to co-owning a £7m property portfolio. Her journey was not a straight line and it certainly wasn’t always comfortable. “Growth doesn’t always feel like growth,” as she put it, “it often feels like ugly crying on the floor at 1am.”
THE REALITY OF “SHOWING UP”
You’ve heard if before, haven’t you: “You just need to show up.”
But what does that actually mean? 🤷♀️
Let’s face it, life would be soooo much easier if opportunities just fell from the sky and landed on your lap. But the reality is, if you want something, you have to make it happen.
It’s scary. It’s overwhelming and the mind monkeys are screaming at you to stay small and stay safe. But the growth that you want? The notoriety that you want? The overflowing DMs from HELL YES clients that you want? They only appear once you make a move.
Once you make that first move, the universe will reward you. Not immediately, but once you’ve become consistent over a period of time.
Things won’t get easier if you avoid getting started.
REJECTING OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES
Just in case you need reassurance: everyone has an opinion and everyone has a story about you. It comes with the territory.
“Some of your posts have been a bit victimy,” someone told me recently. The old me would have exploded, but now? I know that’s just their worldview leaking into my comment box. Perhaps they’ve never had to get vulnerable to grow. Perhaps they like their view from the safety of employment. Perhaps it’s my job not to care.
Remember this: People project what they’re not ready to face. Get clear on your intentions, if you share failures or doubt, make sure you’re sharing for growth, not for sympathy. If even one other business owner breathes a sigh of relief or learns a shortcut from your mistake, you’ve done something worthwhile.
IT’S OKAY TO FALL (IN FACT, IT’S HOW YOU LEARN)
Here’s another industry truth: success is not a straight line. We celebrate bouncing back more than never stumbling at all. Kids don’t stop learning to ride bikes because they fall. Entrepreneurs shouldn’t quit on the first failed pitch or misjudged launch.
Get up, dust off and go again—but have the sense to surround yourself with others who ‘get it.’ Masterminds, coaches, friends—you need people who know what it’s like to ugly cry on the floor at 1am and still pick themselves up the next day.
THE POWER OF STRATEGIC SUPPORT
If you take one thing away, let it be this: You don’t have to do this journey alone, but you do have to do it. No one can do the work for you. And no, paying money to sit in another “visibility challenge” is not the same as building resilience and confidence from the inside out.
What I recommend (and what I help my clients with) is taking honest stock of where you are, setting your own goals and making your moves, even if they’re small at first.
SO, WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
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Stop comparing your journey to someone else’s highlight reel.
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Acknowledge where you really are, wobbles and all.
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Get clear on your next step, not the next hundred.
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Share your truth with compassion, not apology.
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Welcome the bumps—the lessons within them are the real gold.
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Find your circle—the ones who can hold space for the messy middle (not just cheer from the sidelines).
Because ultimately, the only way to genuine, magnetic confidence isn’t from a downloadable PDF, it’s from moving through discomfort over and over, until one day, what used to terrify you now lights you up.
If you need a safe space to start, DM me on Instagram @PRwithPerkes.
I’ll always be honest about the journey and I’ll cheer you on as you learn to do the uncomfortable thing, again, and again. Because if you want those premium, pay-in-full clients flooding your inbox instead of spending hours on soul-destroying Zoom calls, you need to get featured, get hired and get paid.
PR works – once you’ve learned how to turn PR coverage into profit.
Laura Perkes
#PRwithPerkes #TheMessyMiddle #BuildYourOwnConfidence
About Laura Perkes:
Laura Perkes is a PR Specialist, Communications Consultant and the Founder of PR with Perkes. She helps creative, diverse and innovative founders, entrepreneurs, start-ups and SMEs who are wanting to raise their profile and build authority through effective PR.
Creating an an earned attention eco-system which contributes to the year on year growth of their business.
